A message from the past to the future.

In your story, don't  forget to tell them this...

"That I know that I had to go back to connect the dots, dreams that I had envisioned as a child to impact and inspire my people with what I have acquired in my growth as a woman. It wasn't all about me, I did it for the little girl overweight with hopelessness, living in a privilege of wealth, waited on by strings of people who lived and depended on crumbs. The child that drew on paper, scribbling all over her note pad words that she didn't understand but who knew something wasn't right in her world. She wasn't the most clever, articulate, intelligent or smart girl if you met her, she was unrecognisable hiding her truth, they called her shy, quiet and went unnoticed as she  pretended to read."

Tell them........I heard the whispers, saw and understood, the wealth & affluence I was born into did not blind me to the marginalised, oppressed, socially excluded living amongst us, in my nakedness we weren't that different. I cut me up and I almost died as I bleed the same blood and felt pain like I have never before.

"Everything I have become, I have learnt from seeking, trying again and again as I made mistakes, I picked me up on the way, armed with the spirit of peace, love,and faith to fight through and emerge the queen of her destiny. I haven't lived yet, no  I haven't and I will not start living until you are equip to do the same and we will live together."

It is my hope that when this old bone grows weary and is unable to light up, I will have inspired you enough to carry this baton of strength."

(Snippets, snippets, Snippets.......unfinished)

From the Nest: On Failure, Rejection and Disappointments

A few minutes ago, I had the most devastating news ever. “We are so sorry, but you were unsuccessful for the role, we just had better candidates” Would you like a feedback?  To which I answered yes! “We had a lot of responses and some really strong candidates that had more experiences for the role; it wasn’t so much about you”.  It is super frustrating chasing my dreams, I have become such an experienced job hunter it starting to hurt and the scars aren’t a pretty sight. Some days I feel great, full of expectation and aim fifty shades higher than my skills just because  it is one of those days and I truly believe in what I have to offer.

Then there is the ‘I wish something good would happen days’ where I am literally hitting the apply button without consideration, at least I am putting it out there, because I might get lucky. This one didn't feel that way, after allllllllll that preparation, carefully selected catchphrase, well research supporting statement, I got offered an interview. This just blew my brains out of the water, I mean yes, and there was no questions in my mind that it was ‘The One’, but not so it appears.

It hurts and also very humbling to realise that it wasn’t just for me. Did I prepare? Yes. Did I put in prayers and even got my team to pray about it? Yes. Was I over confident? Yes I was up till a point of arrogance, urgh it hurts and my feelings are bruised. But as ever, thank God again for this disappointment because it wasn’t meant to be and I will continue to place my hope in the plans he has for me.

It is hard-core rejection for me, seems to be something I have become quite acquainted with in this season of my life, getting more no’s than yes, been overlooked by the people in my life, coming last like it is an accomplishment, no hurray’s at the end of the race and picking up myself like a pro.

But hey, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future….” Jerimiah 29:11

Beautiful Beloved Believed in. xxxx

Thank You Post

Dear Lord. Thank you for the insights and mini glimpse. I hope you continue to work your way through this person and condition their heart to keep seeking you always in everything they do. I have done my bit for them in the only I know through one of my monthly Prayer Project, the greatest reward I could seek is to see them flourish, grow in You Lord. As always, I look to you, Beautiful, Beloved, Believed In.

July 30th - Journey so far

This time last year, I was on a long journey away from home and going through so much that I didn't voice out. It was a 50/50, God on one side whenever I needed him and myself on the other relying on my own strength. Exactly a year on, I have this amazing confidence and joy in been 💯 with God in everything, and sometimes the 💯 I am giving might look kinda curvy but we are working on it together 😊 Lord you know what you did this morning 😜 and set me up for a perfect day in You. As always #Keke #Beautiful #Beloved #BelievedIn Also thanking you for the last day of July #PrayerProject "It is finished" 🙌  http://instagram.com/p/rEUni_MuWq/
It been incredible the experiences I have had, everything that has ever happened to me has brought me to this day, God is finally filling in the hole in my heart with confidence, joy, hope and so much more than I could ever ask for.
As always xxxxxx

Inner Quiet Confidence

Thank you Lord for been faithful to me and pouring your blessings upon my life.

This soul does not take it for granted that you know best in all circumstances and situation life throws at me. Thank you for this quiet inner confidence that am feeling lately, knowing that I do not have to rush through life, instead 'Your Grace' prompting me to experience life step by step, keeping me planted in each season for different purposes.

It been quite liberating to stay calm, trusting in the understanding that You have showed me that I am not there yet. I laugh at the exchanges we have had in the past few weeks over what I want and need from You this year and You been awesome, respond with Your answer!!!!! (God is never late).

Sometimes, it hits me in the wrong places, I am left even more confused than ever and I strut around trying to figure out what You mean and think I can manipulate your decision by offering compromise or desperate promises in return, but You don't run Your Kingdom like that................

Instead You give this confidence *Selah* to calm the storm in my heart and crush the conflicts in my head. I am not there yet, but I am where I need to be right in this moment with You.

As always, Keke is Beautiful, Beloved, Believed In because of the Grace that never fails.

A Psalm of David........

¹ O Lord, I give my life to you.
²     I trust in you, my God!
Do not let me be disgraced,
    or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.
³ No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced,
    but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.

⁴ Show me the right path, O Lord;
    point out the road for me to follow.
⁵ Lead me by your truth and teach me,
    for you are the God who saves me.
    All day long I put my hope in you.
⁶ Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love,
    which you have shown from long ages past.
⁷ Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
    Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
    for you are merciful, O Lord.

⁸ The Lord is good and does what is right;
    he shows the proper path to those who go astray.
⁹ He leads the humble in doing right,
    teaching them his way.
¹⁰ The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness
    all who keep his covenant and obey his demands.

¹¹ For the honor of your name, O Lord,
    forgive my many, many sins.
¹² Who are those who fear the Lord?
    He will show them the path they should choose.
¹³ They will live in prosperity,
    and their children will inherit the land.
¹⁴ The Lord is a friend to those who fear him.
    He teaches them his covenant.
¹⁵ My eyes are always on the Lord,
    for he rescues me from the traps of my enemies.

¹⁶ Turn to me and have mercy,
    for I am alone and in deep distress.
¹⁷ My problems go from bad to worse.
    Oh, save me from them all!
¹⁸ Feel my pain and see my trouble.
    Forgive all my sins.
¹⁹ See how many enemies I have
    and how viciously they hate me!
²⁰ Protect me! Rescue my life from them!
    Do not let me be disgraced, for in you I take refuge.
²¹ May integrity and honesty protect me,
    for I put my hope in you.

²² O God, ransom Israel
    from all its troubles.

The life I get from reading this Psalm is contagious, it literally transforms the way I pray to God about my troubles and woes in life. Some days, I sit in silence and let my heart sing and cry  out to God in surrender like David. Our conversations are getting longer, late nights, early mornings, coffee breaks, everywhere I go, a little piece of His Word is with me.

I sat in bed and said a simple prayer

June 6th 2014, Take my life Lord and use it in whatever way, choose me to be your vessel.

I had a very disturbing dream today. I woke up and am like what? The first verse that I found was  in Ephesians 6:11-12 "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world’s rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places."

Lord, my place is in your heavenly Throne of Grace, serving you in spirit & truth.
This soul does not take it for granted that You know best. In Jesus Name. 

Amen.

That Thing On Your Finger!

If like me you have been drooling over engagement rings, stop it now. In your singleness, complicated status, He is my boyfriend and I know he is going to propose soon or you fall under the “he’s my fiancé, but he has not given me a ring” status. Please stop it and ask yourself, are you ready for marriage? Honestly I don’t know who I feel sorry for, the men or ladies. More ladies are going through great length to pretend and package themselves to be the perfect wife material. More marriages are falling thou, while others spend more time fantasying about the perfect man to marry and ridiculously expensive wedding, dresses, IG post. Then the engaged ladies mercilessly teasing and taunting us with that super large rock *drools again*.
The truth is this,  I want nothing more than to be married but I am not ready for marriage because I am still learning to define my identity and coming to terms with the greatest love that is wrapped in Christ. In this season of my life, I want to experience divine love, learn to be patient, receive, give and serve other. This does not mean I don’t pray for the man I will eventually share my life with, I pray for him to be successful, blessed financially and spiritually in all sphere of life. I pray for release from any spirit of Jezebel hovering over him, any woman that is tied to him to break free, I pray for his heart to be gentle, kind and full of compassion for others. I pray that when I meet him or if he is already in my life, he is ready for the lives we will share as one in love, faith & peace. I am not praying to be lucky, he is not a one chance or an opportunity, he is my destiny, the perfect will of God and I am the woman that will complete him like Eve was for Adam. God will prompt him to place the ring on my finger when he is ready in due season, then I will finally be ready to get married and enjoy a lifetime of partnership. Wedding and marriage are two different things, please don’t get it confused. Don’t spend the better part of your life planning and scheming to have the perfect wedding and forget the bit where you spend the rest of your life tied in marriage to that one man. Your criteria should not be what his net worth is, nor looks.  I know that looks is important, we have the new look, beards, facial hair, and the usual I like a man in white trad thing. Please stop it!!

Believe me, ask your happily married ladies with great testimonies, you will know when you found it, God will show you unless you are so blind by your defined criteria (this is why you should pray & consult God). Please make sure you marry your best friend, someone you can share a laugh with,  hold hands with and commit a lifetime to his flaws and imperfection. A man that shields & protect, loves & cherish, honour & protect, respect & adores you. Why should you have to manage, what are you managing, so because he is a rich boy with sway, you must die with him and trap him into marriage whilst turning a blind eye to his infidelity? (Trust me, you know yourselves).

Finally, money!!! It is a blessing to be rich & wealthy enough to afford the finer things of life, therefore, it is only natural you would want your man to be the same. But *Selah* where does that money come from, have you considered trailing the source of his money. Trust me, I relocated to Nigeria for a year and then some months, I have seen and heard the things young articulate men do for money to buy cars, pop bottles and attract fine girls, this equally applies to the ladies *roll your eyes if you like*Be wise. Ask yourself; are you ready for marriage? Am I in the condition to be a wife? Is your heart in the right place? Is this the love that God has ordained for me? Are you ready for a lifetime together, no turning back once that ring slips on your finger?

What do you desperately want, is it to be engaged to the man of your destiny or to be married to him?  |Engagement vs Marriage; to be engaged is different to marriage. One is temporary, the other is permanent.

 

 

 

 

 

Today is Day 2

I have been crying a lot lately, it been weeks of this agonising pain in my heart, filled with dashed hopes and aspiration. It hasn’t been one thing, which I can confidently point to as the reason for this emotional roller coaster. My family life, personal relationship, career and commitment to life are what I am struggling with at the moment. I have spoken to God, but my heart is still weary as ever, I long for the days when I would pray and pray till I was parched, nowadays it is just a murmur, delayed whispers, incoherent thoughts and I even fall asleep speaking to God or I would forget what I am praying about. 

Although I made the conscious decision to start bible reading a few weeks ago, it has been good; but find it hard to focus in the evenings with my family around and often get disturbed in the room, fall asleep if I tried to do it before bed. So leaving the house early in the morning to catch the empty train and read the word on my way to work has worked out better than I could ever imagine. Arriving at work 20 minutes also helps as I multi-task between coffee drinking session, tucking into a bite of cinnamon swirl pastry and reading  has been refreshing.

However, I am truly struggling with negative emotions and becoming easily affected by stuff that are happening around me especially with family life. One thing I know is that, confusion does not come from God and I have made a new commitment to resolve this once and for all.

So……….here it is; Pray. Yes I said pray. But this is a special prayer; actually it is a project I came across as I flicker on my IG page. It is called the #PrayerProject, a challenge that last for 30 days praying not for you but others, it could be a partner/spouse, a friend, a specific individual or stranger.

I am doing mine for my family, after the nightmare we have endured and the revelation we had this weekend. This is not a surprise to me at all, because for the first time in my life, I started praying for my mum last week at church, cause I strongly believe she needs it as her strength is what I have known in my family before I came to rely on Christ this much. But Ma is failing and I see her looking in all the wrong places for intercession from God, if only she could hear from God personally and rest in Him.

All of a sudden in the mist of my heartache, God is making so much sense. Pray for my mum and by extension of faith to all my siblings as well. It makes crazy sense to me as I write, because a fruit is only as good as the seed/tree it falls from. If you know anything off what we have been through, then you will see that I need this challenge like I need air to exist.

So for the next 30 days, journal prayer in writing to God, placing everything in Him as my pain and anguish is rooted in the craziness of my family life.  I have been holding on to a lot of things and I have come to realise that in order to let go of  everything, you know my childhoods sense of abandonment, rejection, hurt, disappointment, unaccomplished, un-cherished feeling and resentment towards my family . I have to do this, we need healing and I know God will listen