Love that will shape the world.
The love I dream of when I think of life, people and family.
Love that transcends selfishness, greed, pride and arrogance.
Love that influences, empower, uplift and flourish a nation of broken hearted people.
Be sacrificial in the love you give, as your heavenly Father fills us with an overflow. Let it flow as well to the people you encounter in the world. Your attitude of love may be the conception that will transform another life, enabling them to seek the light that flows within you.
The way habits can be copied and imitated, your compassion, kindness and love can be copied. God is love and His love is around. You are love because the Father lives in you as well. He gives freely of everything if only you ask from Him.
Be beautiful. Stay Beloved. You are Believedin.
Faith. Love. Love. Peace.
I write from a place of love.
Beautiful Beloved BelievedIn
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationship. Show all posts
Monday, 13 July 2015
Tuesday, 11 November 2014
Stylishly Dating
Confession
I have never really been one to date, never engaged in the process as such except for my ex (that still hurts) Anyone else that I have fancied that have returned my affection would be friends, well there was one or two, we became such good friends and when feeling began to creep in, your truly ran into the sunset and those relationships died. There are some male friends in my life that I appreciate because they pursued and accepted that our friendship is a stronger hold than anything else. What are the odds, 8:1 ratio and you really want to bleed shamelessly over me?
In college and university, the only living orgasm I dated were lecture notes, tutorial prep and the glorious books that filled the library shelves. I wouldn't look up or return your hello, if I agreed to lunch, believe me when I say three is a crowd. There was a boy thou that I fancied the pants off, he was smart, ambitious and broad! Unfortunately, we have become distance friends who don't speak, yet he pops up everywhere and I am super happy that my predictions about him are true.
Dating is awkward, zilch experience talking about me and I hardly concentrate long enough to take an interest in the person. Since my 'almost made it relationship' ended I have had it bad with zero interest in men that approach, not because they don't fit enough, but because my heart is frail and I keep having too soothe, caress and encourage her to breathe again and trust that 'I love you' from the opposite sex is not always a lie designed to break us down in order to hurt and deceive us.
"Maybe things just happen to make them withdraw their love and it doesn't have anything to do with how awesome we are." Well it been months that I have been telling the old girl this and she is coming out, head above the water, learning to stroke the waves and plunge in.
I want someone who goes beyond the usual cinema and dinner thing. Give me an experience, ask me what I would like to do and be seriously genuine with what you say. I want vulnerability, emotions and admissions that reflects what you dream off when you are alone. I am an emotional person deep inside and connect better with people that can draw out energies that keeps me buzzing. I want to see you, know what makes you ache inside, your substance and feel comfortable around you to be cool with you. I love conversations via phone calls or text, whatever warms your sushi, because I am not dealing with the "have you eaten" type convo, we can talk about so much more that offers insight into our personalities. More importantly, introduce something new to me, it is all part of the experience in getting to know someone, we can both open each other to a thousand possibilities. One of my very good male friends, we bonded over books, the exhilarating moment when we discovered we loved the same author and read the same books. We sat and analyse almost every text we had read, exchanged books and we weren't even getting it on.
I want someone who goes beyond the usual cinema and dinner thing. Give me an experience, ask me what I would like to do and be seriously genuine with what you say. I want vulnerability, emotions and admissions that reflects what you dream off when you are alone. I am an emotional person deep inside and connect better with people that can draw out energies that keeps me buzzing. I want to see you, know what makes you ache inside, your substance and feel comfortable around you to be cool with you. I love conversations via phone calls or text, whatever warms your sushi, because I am not dealing with the "have you eaten" type convo, we can talk about so much more that offers insight into our personalities. More importantly, introduce something new to me, it is all part of the experience in getting to know someone, we can both open each other to a thousand possibilities. One of my very good male friends, we bonded over books, the exhilarating moment when we discovered we loved the same author and read the same books. We sat and analyse almost every text we had read, exchanged books and we weren't even getting it on.
While it all sounds sweet, I am equally aware that I have to bring something to the table if we must intertwine and make good babies. Reverse!!!! I meant get to know each other, begin a relationship, commitment etc. However, the sole purpose of dating is to know someone and decide if you like them enough to put up with their flaws, imperfections and keep learning the depths of their character, not marry them. I see it in this order- Dating - Committed Relationship - Sustainable Relationship - Marriage. Before you all get deep, if you got into a relationship and it isn't working or in alignment with your purpose, use the exit door, don't die and ruin your self esteem unless you will carry that damage into the next and the next and the next until reality massage your face with a lift.
Some people on the other hand turn dating into a Change.Org mission, there is no need to quit your day job, please attend evening school, get qualified and make some money off that talent. WHY would you try and change someone in order to mould them into the perfect partner, sometimes it works, kudos to the ladies that achieved this alright. But we all know that 99.9% fail, you will only succeed in a few months/years of living the dream and it will become impossible to continue and kids get mixed up in the situation. You knew all along, you knew, he knew......but guess why he put up with it because you offered something he didn't deserve that he couldn't get elsewhere and eventually it wore off because someone smarter is going to give it to him in a different package. We readily give men choices and forget we are the price, undervaluing and scheming for the wrong attention.
Dating should be fun, be wild young and free with caution. Don't give your time away to just anyone, know what you are seeking and rest on the understanding that there is a great guy out there waiting for the chance to meet you, court you, love you and above all be the One that complete this area of your life.
A Promise to Remember - Beautiful Beloved Believed In
Friday, 24 October 2014
28 minutes 30 seconds
Leaning in & Been a Friend
Often we pass through life thinking we are alone, when in fact we aren't at all. It's very simple to be a blessing to another, hence I want to share an encounter that propelled me to think deeper about leaning in. I felt it was God's way of telling me something important about leaning in to other people's problem & issues especially the elderly, you never know what life experiences they have and what you might learn from them. 28:30 was all it took to make someones day on this occasion, listening and encouraging her to talk about her life. One of the home worker called in through to my department and we started taking about her life . .
I have often wonder why she was a workaholic and went beyond and above the call of duty every time, there are times when she got angry at me for telling her how to do her job and she constantly sent irrelevant emails which I purposely ignore. The phone call could have swung either way, but am glad it didn't as she told me about her life, living with asthma, been on anti-biotic and why all she really had was work to keep her sane.
Her name is Val and she is 61, she talked about her non-existent family except for a cousin who checked up on her every 2-3 months to see how she doing. Prior to that, she had her mum living with her, but lost her 5 years ago after falling ill for a period of time. Her mum had 7 brothers and 3 sisters who have all passed away as well, no cousins kept it touch, the only people she had in her day to day life was the neighbours. They were the ones with her when her mum died at home 5 years ago, no family, no nothing, just a bunch of strangers who had seen her through cancer and death of her mother.
The memories she shared made my heart sink, she recounted the number of times her mum had appeared to her in fleeting moments and this experiences felt so surreal she couldn't help but know that she wasn't alone spiritually. There was this time she was feeling down, she described a bright light shinning in the corner of the room and how she saw her mum. This other time she went out and been asking her dead mum to give her sign, lo and behold when she got home, there was a white feather in the middle of her upstairs bedroom and the windows were closed and curtains drawn. Unexplainable!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't help but imagine her loneliness, losing her mum whom she described as her best friend & people actually thought they were sisters. She went on and on about her skin, hair, face and every other features that her made a special person and not once did she bore me. After she hung up, she sent me pictures of them together and wrote "Yes, we were very happy. We were mother, daughter, sisters and the best of friends rolled into one".
She talked me for the lovely chat, hoping to speak again and I have never missed a chance to catch up.
Often we pass through life thinking we are alone, when in fact we aren't at all. It's very simple to be a blessing to another, hence I want to share an encounter that propelled me to think deeper about leaning in. I felt it was God's way of telling me something important about leaning in to other people's problem & issues especially the elderly, you never know what life experiences they have and what you might learn from them. 28:30 was all it took to make someones day on this occasion, listening and encouraging her to talk about her life. One of the home worker called in through to my department and we started taking about her life . .
I have often wonder why she was a workaholic and went beyond and above the call of duty every time, there are times when she got angry at me for telling her how to do her job and she constantly sent irrelevant emails which I purposely ignore. The phone call could have swung either way, but am glad it didn't as she told me about her life, living with asthma, been on anti-biotic and why all she really had was work to keep her sane.
Her name is Val and she is 61, she talked about her non-existent family except for a cousin who checked up on her every 2-3 months to see how she doing. Prior to that, she had her mum living with her, but lost her 5 years ago after falling ill for a period of time. Her mum had 7 brothers and 3 sisters who have all passed away as well, no cousins kept it touch, the only people she had in her day to day life was the neighbours. They were the ones with her when her mum died at home 5 years ago, no family, no nothing, just a bunch of strangers who had seen her through cancer and death of her mother.
The memories she shared made my heart sink, she recounted the number of times her mum had appeared to her in fleeting moments and this experiences felt so surreal she couldn't help but know that she wasn't alone spiritually. There was this time she was feeling down, she described a bright light shinning in the corner of the room and how she saw her mum. This other time she went out and been asking her dead mum to give her sign, lo and behold when she got home, there was a white feather in the middle of her upstairs bedroom and the windows were closed and curtains drawn. Unexplainable!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't help but imagine her loneliness, losing her mum whom she described as her best friend & people actually thought they were sisters. She went on and on about her skin, hair, face and every other features that her made a special person and not once did she bore me. After she hung up, she sent me pictures of them together and wrote "Yes, we were very happy. We were mother, daughter, sisters and the best of friends rolled into one".
She talked me for the lovely chat, hoping to speak again and I have never missed a chance to catch up.
Monday, 6 October 2014
Thoughts on Marriage Engagment and " The One"
If like me you have been drooling over engagement rings, stop it now. In your singleness, complicated status, He is my boyfriend and I know he is going to propose soon or you fall under the “he’s my fiancé, but he has not given me a ring” status. Please stop it and ask yourself, are you ready for marriage? Honestly I don’t know who I feel sorry for, the men or ladies. More ladies are going through great length to pretend and package themselves to be the perfect wife material. More marriages are falling thou, while others spend more time fantasying about the perfect man to marry and ridiculously expensive wedding, dresses, IG post. Then the engaged ladies mercilessly teasing and taunting us with that super large rock *drools again*.
The truth is this, I want nothing more than to be married but I am not ready for marriage because I am still learning to define my identity and coming to terms with the greatest love that is wrapped in Christ. In this season of my life, I want to experience divine love, learn to be patient, receive, give and serve other. This does not mean I don’t pray for the man I will eventually share my life with, I pray for him to be successful, blessed financially and spiritually in all sphere of life. I pray for release from any spirit of Jezebel hovering over him, any woman that is tied to him to break free, I pray for his heart to be gentle, kind and full of compassion for others. I pray that when I meet him or if he is already in my life, he is ready for the lives we will share as one in love, faith & peace. I am not praying to be lucky, he is not a one chance or an opportunity, he is my destiny, the perfect will of God and I am the woman that will complete him like Eve was for Adam. God will prompt him to place the ring on my finger when he is ready in due season, then I will finally be ready to get married and enjoy a lifetime of partnership. Wedding and marriage are two different things, please don’t get it confused. Don’t spend the better part of your life planning and scheming to have the perfect wedding and forget the bit where you spend the rest of your life tied in marriage to that one man. Your criteria should not be what his net worth is, nor looks. I know that looks is important, we have the new look, beards, facial hair, and the usual I like a man in white trad thing. Please stop it!!
Believe me, ask your happily married ladies with great testimonies, you will know when you found it, God will show you unless you are so blind by your defined criteria (this is why you should pray & consult God). Please make sure you marry your best friend, someone you can share a laugh with, hold hands with and commit a lifetime to his flaws and imperfection. A man that shields & protect, loves & cherish, honour & protect, respect & adores you. Why should you have to manage, what are you managing, so because he is a rich boy with sway, you must die with him and trap him into marriage whilst turning a blind eye to his infidelity? (Trust me, you know yourselves).
Finally, money!!! It is a blessing to be rich & wealthy enough to afford the finer things of life, therefore, it is only natural you would want your man to be the same. But *Selah* where does that money come from, have you considered trailing the source of his money. Trust me, I relocated to Nigeria for a year and then some months, I have seen and heard the things young articulate men do for money to buy cars, pop bottles and attract fine girls, this equally applies to the ladies *roll your eyes if you like*Be wise. Ask yourself; are you ready for marriage? Am I in the condition to be a wife? Is your heart in the right place? Is this the love that God has ordained for me? Are you ready for a lifetime together, no turning back once that ring slips on your finger?
What do you desperately want, is it to be engaged to the man of your destiny or to be married to him? |Engagement vs Marriage; to be engaged is different to marriage. One is temporary, the other is permanent.
The truth is this, I want nothing more than to be married but I am not ready for marriage because I am still learning to define my identity and coming to terms with the greatest love that is wrapped in Christ. In this season of my life, I want to experience divine love, learn to be patient, receive, give and serve other. This does not mean I don’t pray for the man I will eventually share my life with, I pray for him to be successful, blessed financially and spiritually in all sphere of life. I pray for release from any spirit of Jezebel hovering over him, any woman that is tied to him to break free, I pray for his heart to be gentle, kind and full of compassion for others. I pray that when I meet him or if he is already in my life, he is ready for the lives we will share as one in love, faith & peace. I am not praying to be lucky, he is not a one chance or an opportunity, he is my destiny, the perfect will of God and I am the woman that will complete him like Eve was for Adam. God will prompt him to place the ring on my finger when he is ready in due season, then I will finally be ready to get married and enjoy a lifetime of partnership. Wedding and marriage are two different things, please don’t get it confused. Don’t spend the better part of your life planning and scheming to have the perfect wedding and forget the bit where you spend the rest of your life tied in marriage to that one man. Your criteria should not be what his net worth is, nor looks. I know that looks is important, we have the new look, beards, facial hair, and the usual I like a man in white trad thing. Please stop it!!
Believe me, ask your happily married ladies with great testimonies, you will know when you found it, God will show you unless you are so blind by your defined criteria (this is why you should pray & consult God). Please make sure you marry your best friend, someone you can share a laugh with, hold hands with and commit a lifetime to his flaws and imperfection. A man that shields & protect, loves & cherish, honour & protect, respect & adores you. Why should you have to manage, what are you managing, so because he is a rich boy with sway, you must die with him and trap him into marriage whilst turning a blind eye to his infidelity? (Trust me, you know yourselves).
Finally, money!!! It is a blessing to be rich & wealthy enough to afford the finer things of life, therefore, it is only natural you would want your man to be the same. But *Selah* where does that money come from, have you considered trailing the source of his money. Trust me, I relocated to Nigeria for a year and then some months, I have seen and heard the things young articulate men do for money to buy cars, pop bottles and attract fine girls, this equally applies to the ladies *roll your eyes if you like*Be wise. Ask yourself; are you ready for marriage? Am I in the condition to be a wife? Is your heart in the right place? Is this the love that God has ordained for me? Are you ready for a lifetime together, no turning back once that ring slips on your finger?
What do you desperately want, is it to be engaged to the man of your destiny or to be married to him? |Engagement vs Marriage; to be engaged is different to marriage. One is temporary, the other is permanent.
Tuesday, 3 June 2014
That Thing On Your Finger!
If like me you have been drooling over engagement rings, stop it now. In your singleness, complicated status, He is my boyfriend and I know he is going to propose soon or you fall under the “he’s my fiancé, but he has not given me a ring” status. Please stop it and ask yourself, are you ready for marriage? Honestly I don’t know who I feel sorry for, the men or ladies. More ladies are going through great length to pretend and package themselves to be the perfect wife material. More marriages are falling thou, while others spend more time fantasying about the perfect man to marry and ridiculously expensive wedding, dresses, IG post. Then the engaged ladies mercilessly teasing and taunting us with that super large rock *drools again*.
The truth is this, I want nothing more than to be married but I am not ready for marriage because I am still learning to define my identity and coming to terms with the greatest love that is wrapped in Christ. In this season of my life, I want to experience divine love, learn to be patient, receive, give and serve other. This does not mean I don’t pray for the man I will eventually share my life with, I pray for him to be successful, blessed financially and spiritually in all sphere of life. I pray for release from any spirit of Jezebel hovering over him, any woman that is tied to him to break free, I pray for his heart to be gentle, kind and full of compassion for others. I pray that when I meet him or if he is already in my life, he is ready for the lives we will share as one in love, faith & peace. I am not praying to be lucky, he is not a one chance or an opportunity, he is my destiny, the perfect will of God and I am the woman that will complete him like Eve was for Adam. God will prompt him to place the ring on my finger when he is ready in due season, then I will finally be ready to get married and enjoy a lifetime of partnership. Wedding and marriage are two different things, please don’t get it confused. Don’t spend the better part of your life planning and scheming to have the perfect wedding and forget the bit where you spend the rest of your life tied in marriage to that one man. Your criteria should not be what his net worth is, nor looks. I know that looks is important, we have the new look, beards, facial hair, and the usual I like a man in white trad thing. Please stop it!!
Believe me, ask your happily married ladies with great testimonies, you will know when you found it, God will show you unless you are so blind by your defined criteria (this is why you should pray & consult God). Please make sure you marry your best friend, someone you can share a laugh with, hold hands with and commit a lifetime to his flaws and imperfection. A man that shields & protect, loves & cherish, honour & protect, respect & adores you. Why should you have to manage, what are you managing, so because he is a rich boy with sway, you must die with him and trap him into marriage whilst turning a blind eye to his infidelity? (Trust me, you know yourselves).
Finally, money!!! It is a blessing to be rich & wealthy enough to afford the finer things of life, therefore, it is only natural you would want your man to be the same. But *Selah* where does that money come from, have you considered trailing the source of his money. Trust me, I relocated to Nigeria for a year and then some months, I have seen and heard the things young articulate men do for money to buy cars, pop bottles and attract fine girls, this equally applies to the ladies *roll your eyes if you like*Be wise. Ask yourself; are you ready for marriage? Am I in the condition to be a wife? Is your heart in the right place? Is this the love that God has ordained for me? Are you ready for a lifetime together, no turning back once that ring slips on your finger?
What do you desperately want, is it to be engaged to the man of your destiny or to be married to him? |Engagement vs Marriage; to be engaged is different to marriage. One is temporary, the other is permanent.
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