From the Nest: On Failure, Rejection and Disappointments

A few minutes ago, I had the most devastating news ever. “We are so sorry, but you were unsuccessful for the role, we just had better candidates” Would you like a feedback?  To which I answered yes! “We had a lot of responses and some really strong candidates that had more experiences for the role; it wasn’t so much about you”.  It is super frustrating chasing my dreams, I have become such an experienced job hunter it starting to hurt and the scars aren’t a pretty sight. Some days I feel great, full of expectation and aim fifty shades higher than my skills just because  it is one of those days and I truly believe in what I have to offer.

Then there is the ‘I wish something good would happen days’ where I am literally hitting the apply button without consideration, at least I am putting it out there, because I might get lucky. This one didn't feel that way, after allllllllll that preparation, carefully selected catchphrase, well research supporting statement, I got offered an interview. This just blew my brains out of the water, I mean yes, and there was no questions in my mind that it was ‘The One’, but not so it appears.

It hurts and also very humbling to realise that it wasn’t just for me. Did I prepare? Yes. Did I put in prayers and even got my team to pray about it? Yes. Was I over confident? Yes I was up till a point of arrogance, urgh it hurts and my feelings are bruised. But as ever, thank God again for this disappointment because it wasn’t meant to be and I will continue to place my hope in the plans he has for me.

It is hard-core rejection for me, seems to be something I have become quite acquainted with in this season of my life, getting more no’s than yes, been overlooked by the people in my life, coming last like it is an accomplishment, no hurray’s at the end of the race and picking up myself like a pro.

But hey, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future….” Jerimiah 29:11

Beautiful Beloved Believed in. xxxx

Thank You Post

Dear Lord. Thank you for the insights and mini glimpse. I hope you continue to work your way through this person and condition their heart to keep seeking you always in everything they do. I have done my bit for them in the only I know through one of my monthly Prayer Project, the greatest reward I could seek is to see them flourish, grow in You Lord. As always, I look to you, Beautiful, Beloved, Believed In.

Sincerity & Power - Part 3 (Hope & a Future)

Dear Child, listen “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future….” Jeremiah 29:11
Boom boom boom…………I stumbled upon this scripture this morning and it felt like I was reading an imprint of God’s word that has always been written in my heart. In context, Jeremiah letter was written and speaking to the surviving elders among the exiles, priests, prophets and all the other people Nebuchadnezzar had carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon.
This scripture was written to a group of people in a time of exile, anxiety, fear, loneliness, etc………..Personally for me, in this month of seeking sincerity and power to overcome and dwell in the goodness of his mercy, I sometime feel like I am in exile and this word reminded me that I am not.
“For I know...” When God tells you he knows, he truly knows, “…the plans I have for you”
God’s plans no matter how shocking and different it might look, is not designed to hurt me or leave me in pain, it is a good thing when he is the one looking after me and making the plans “….plans to give you hope and a future”. Because He does not set out to give me the expectation of my fears (p.s I am still human), but the promises he has always spoken off concerning me.

Beautiful, Beloved, Believed In.

Dear Abba,

Is it possible to feel this much joy and feeling of appreciation that is cruising through my spirit today. Well my answer is yes!! It is overwhelmingly powerful and energizing  that I am on the verge of tears to my Father. Every time I have felt this way, I have come to recognize it as a prompting to pray and  a window of opportunity to be still & speak to Abba.

But today I am not making it about me, rather I am believing for the people of my world. I pray in Jesus name that they experience the Grace of God, His Mercy, out-pour of Love & develop an intimate relationship with Him. When life knocks them hard, they know that God is available & on hand.

For somebody today, God is waiting, He sees you, He knows you, He understand the deepest desires of your heart, He knows that thing that bothers & weights your spirit down. You qualify to be seen in His presence, please He is asking you to bring your request to Him. Abba wants you to know that you can lean on Him as much as you can, He doesn't get tired of you or your worries, just keep coming back.

Many times, He is right in front of us and we look past him because you & I don't trust Him enough to handle what we carry within. *sigh* If you know what I am receiving and learning from my journey with him, then you will get this. I am hurting for you, I mean could you imagine Our Lord's pain when we constantly reject Him over and over again, He died for You to have life, for You to approach the Father and enjoy the companionship of the Holy Spirit!!!

Lord, I pray for the people of my world today, for the people I am connected too, doing life with to encounter & receive your message in Jesus Name. Be our bread of life, living water that never runs dry and supplement our needs in this life with all of You.

Beautiful, Beloved, Believed In.........

Lay it at my Feet. Beautiful Beloved Believed In.

This was the most amazing weekend I have experienced thus far and it should only get better. Started from spending Friday with the girls, a well deserve picnic in Island Gardens enjoying what was left of the weather, laughs ,drinks and chattering. What I loved most about the day was been able to confide & express everything I was feeling to this blessed women, we spoke of dreams, desires, God and the future we hope to continue to share.                                  

This Saturday, I was super determined to relax all day and spend the evening in church which was a first for me. I knew my Powerhouse age group gathered monthly to worship and praise, but I never thought it was for me because I cherish my Saturday, the only day I could do whatever it is I wanted…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Strangely, I felt God pulling me towards this day in His Majestic Presence. As I stepped in, I felt this amazing light and the emotions that engulfed  my soul was  so jaw-dropping, that this post could never come close to putting it  into words.                                                                        

I felt God more intimately than ever. He was speaking to me “Keke give it to me, lay it at my feet, I am yours and you are mine” When the youth pastor said to think very carefully about what ever represented weakness in our lives, burdens that we have refused to trust God with. Instantly I knew what it was………….I am angry, very angry at a lot of things, but most especially, angry that I am not good enough, with a longing to constantly attack God on why He didn’t pick me up early in life, where was He when I was that lonely child that poured out her heart to the world on paper, confused and sad.                                  

In my time of depression, heartache and therapy sessions, where was He, what was He doing, was he so unconcerned about me that He left me upon creation and only started His work in my state of brokenness. Because of this, I have experienced, depression, low self-confidence and withdrawal from people because I could not handle the relationships, and it has kept me quiet and silent for too long. Although, I have been dealing with my weakness and desperately trying, I wasn’t done, there are some issues that I feel that are so personal, that I wouldn’t trust Him to handle it. I have been sacred to put all my Hope, I acknowledge that I do place my Hope in HIM, but damn, there are something’s that I believe I can handle myself.                                                                                                                                          

At this point, I am letting out a big sigh, because this weekend, I was given another chance to trust God further, placing my hope in Him, laying it all at  His feet. Then something beautiful happened, the girl next to me I couldn't help but notice was crying, shivering and shaking, earlier she had ask me to move up a seat, introduced herself, but candidly I wasn’t listening that much. Suddenly, I felt a prompting to give her a hug, she clung to me so tightly that I didn’t release my hold until she was ready. But the tears were still flowing, and I felt God nudge me to lay hands on her and we prayed. I threw every prayer I could at her, the emotions was so overwhelming that I didn't know realise I was also shaking and crying until I tasted my tears.  It was like an out of the world experience, that evening something deep resonated within my soul like never before. As the service was coming to end, I quietly slipped out of church, ready for my dinner date with a long-time friend and my world felt alright.                                                                                                                   

Equally Sunday wasn’t just another day in London enjoying the lovely weather, it was a God amazing day, serving with my lovely team and staying planted in Christ as my pastor preached about HOPE, exactly what I needed to wrap up a very special weekend.   

PRAYER FOR YOU

To whoever is reading this right now, my Prayer for You as the week goes on, is to flourish in your faith. I dare you to hope, believe and receive God’s love as I have done. Don’t reject the Grace He gives, I pray for strength for you to lay everything at His feet what come may and enjoy the season He has placed you in for now. In the words of Robert Madu (a sermon he preached),"every season has it beauty and it burden, but most of all, it prepares you for what is coming". Our God is a clever One, spring is the transition between the cold winter months and summer.  In the winter, we look forward to the joys summer and at the heights of summer, we appreciate winter, then just to prepare us for another season, autumn creeps in.

You are Beautiful, Beloved & Believed In. Whatever that is holding you back, let it go!!!