Here I am, Here I am

Been listening to the new Hillsong United Album Empire especially 'Touch the Sky', I couldn't wait for the album release so I double tap the single on iTunes, I never purchase music online. I am old school, I like buying CD's, to touch and feel the edges of the cover, admire the artwork and read through the credits and google artists, song writers and the production team that often goes unnoticed. If they are good enough to produce such a beautiful thing,  I want to access their other works and be blessed with their gift to strum words together and create sound that tremble my soul. Atlas Peace!!!

Here I am, Here I am, has been the reoccurring theme in my heart this week since last Sunday after a powerful session in church and for a few moments I was lost in surrender to the voice that spoke with so much clarity. I have been suffering for a while now, because when I am not finding life in the word, I am miserable and completely lost.

I miss so many things, long for the miracle that is on it way to me. But at times, I feel faithless (but I have faith) when I am romanticising my dreams and vision in my heart, painting the unfinished dreams. Sometimes I pray for it, speak life into it and at other times, I quietly wish that the cup is taken from me because it is too much to bear and I do not feel strong enough to do it on my own. Then I remember, I am made strong in my weakness because Christ is with me, in that moment I pray so hard for forgiveness and beat myself up for waivering in my faith. *Laughs* oh dear devil, I see what you are doing, trying to bring me down but hey hey I am anchored in Christ.

Looking back on this week, the one before and the one before the one before, all the way back to 365 days ago. I have evolved and taken so many steps away and embraced my life now with grace, love and peace because I have been placed on this path for his glory. 366 days ago hurt like hell,  I was in an agony of shame and disbelieve at the reality that will be for the next few years. I didn't think we will be okay or I will ever be truly happy or hopeful again, but we are and I am because 'Here I am'

I ran and fell, ran, ran and ran until I went out of breathe, then fell to the ground and screamed like a banshee, deafen by my cries as people drove by across the streets from me. 

-May 29th 2014  

I have found my ministry in Christ. I pray, write and live for God. I am a warrior of light, the word my sword, growing stronger in Christ Jesus, getting prepped and ready for the calling I see.

I am free
I surrender to God's plan
I am no longer scared
I live for God
Here I am, Here I am
Sprit led and filled by grace

I write from a place of love.

Beautiful Beloved BelievedIn