First time around, I was not ready, didn't want to engage, understand or be understood because I honestly believed I had nothing to really give. Although, I did get it *shrugs* yours truly was a free spirit anyway guided by her own moral compass and love as I know it was afloat the ship I was sailing.
I SEE YOU
He had no problem relentlessly pursuing me, always waiting for me at every turns and corner, calling me the most beautiful names. Of all the greatest love I have experienced, he is the most emotional, compassionate of them all, seeing no reason to conceal his love for me.
When I opened up, he responded to my feelings and I love him for that, so much that I know that if I ever walked away from him my life will never be the same again. I would always wonder because I know that he is and will always be the best thing in this world.
I meet loads of men and its funny that they can try but will never measure up to what I have and until they grasp it, they will never get started with me. Realistically, being friends is not out of the question, but someone's feelings always gets hurt and that isn't me anymore because I have arrived at a place where I can be shamelessly nice, generous, pleasant and yes respectful enough to listen to rehearsed babbles and lovely teasers designed to woe me and my response would always be no and thank you.
Don't worry, you will learn to get to that point too; where you realise your worth and settle for nothing less than you deserve and believe in.
I am not crazy or irrational or a hopeless romantic. I hmmm mmm ahhh *sips coffee* is in a gracious loving relationship with God and His Love that is above anything else. A man will never truly honour, respect and put you first if he doesn't understand the depth, width and length of God's love. Because if he loves God and dwells in his presence, hurting you will be harder, virtually impossible, okay there will be human errors, but for the love of God; the integrity, trust and respect would surpass the depth of brokenness or anything you have experienced before.
Why? The greatest thing you have in common is a source that never runs dry, God in abundance, a reassuring comfort and counsel for the tough times.
I will be bold and put it this to you. That heart break is a shell, your heart is wrapped up in your soul and your soul can never be taken. Your heart is priceless, a masterpiece, rare and can never be trampled when you experience the greatest love that exist. Instead, it shines, radiating the brilliance that is within you. I came to this conclusion after so many soul searching moments, amazed at how people bounce back after the hurt, rejection, sadness etc. Honestly, how is possible that the same heart is still functioning and pouring out more that it receives.
The same woman that says she will never trust again, finds love, starts a relationship, rises in love, marries and have children.
The single girl that has been cheated on, lied too and dumped several times is still hopeful and allows herself to trust that there is a man for her.
She was sexually abused by the men in her life, yet rises above it and uses her experience to help others.
He watched as his father beats their mother and vows to treat women better. Focusing on the positives rather than allowing his later choices in life to be affected by the abused he grew up around.
What if that broken heart you sing and mourn for is a bubble or a shell because that is just the surface because when I look at me and the people in my life, all I see is this rare brilliance, an epitome of love evolving, perfectly imperfect beautiful hearts capable of holding on to the positives, striving, beating harder everyday, responding to life.
What if that thing called love is you, flowing, glowing when you uncomplicate the processes you have absorbed?
What if you believe that "I cannot be broken" because you were not designed to be broken.
What if you stop crying about this misconception, unwrapped your heart and take a sneak peak and then wrap it up again safe in the knowledge that you are not broken.
Would it release, liberate or astound you?
Maybe you are work in progress, been cut, refined, shaped and sharpened by lessons in love, experiences and challenges because you are limitless!!
GOD LOVES YOU
I write from a place of love.
Beautiful Beloved BelievedIn