Monday, 17 November 2014

#30Layers30Days // APOLOGIES

What do you need to stop apologizing for?  
Your personality?
Your perspective?
Your needs?
Your boundaries?
Your dreams?
The person you love?
Me, Me, Me, Me.
Hmmm when in doubt, spell it out ME. It is a critical time in my personal life right now, turning a big number soon, been through a couple of hard times, struggled with this and that. Given up time for people that could never ever do the same, made choices against my best interest to satisfy needs that don't measure up and for what? I am a late bloomer, its taken me longer to crawl, stand, walk, run and fly. Other people seem to have it easy from where I stand, I don't even know how to begin to explain. The choices I am finally striving to exercise will disappoint some of my friends and family because it might not sit well enough, it is a massive u-turn from expectation and what they would choose and encourage. Sorry Not!! Might even end up broke for a while…..

Quiet, Reserved, Sensitive, Conscious, Emotional. Selective, Closed, Open. Dreamer, Writer, Reader. 

I love who I love, it is not conditional on been loved back, who I choose to give my love is my decision, not to be scrutinised or over analysed, I will always give openly because it doesn't cost me a thing. Lovers will come & go, but I will stay loving me long time.
My apologies are undisputed, I am doing me all the time, I can't overturn the past and I wouldn't if I had a chance. My past mistakes were necessary like I need air to exist, my very own Malcolm X  paved the way for the present ME. I will not be here if it wasn't for them, will not be reaching out to my inner core, experiencing this energy or be the sister, daughter, friend and lover I am today,  who loves no matter what, with intent and  purpose to those that hurt, abandoned and rejected me. 
Of all the above, I could still be so lost in the chains of past misconception of who I am because I got found and uplifted in God's Love, Grace & Mercy. Bolder in my walk, striving and loudly proclaiming what I believe in.
Not apologising for been different and unique.

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Beautiful Beloved Believed In xxx