Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Stylishly Dating

I have never really been one to date, never engaged in the process as such except for my ex (that still hurts) Anyone else that I have fancied that have returned my affection would be friends, well there was one or two, we became such good friends and when feeling began to creep in, your truly ran into the sunset and those relationships died. There are some male friends in my life that I appreciate because they pursued and accepted that our friendship is a stronger hold than anything else. What are the odds, 8:1 ratio and you really want to bleed shamelessly over me?
In college and university, the only living orgasm I dated were lecture notes, tutorial prep and the glorious books that filled the library shelves. I wouldn't look up or return your hello, if I agreed to lunch, believe me when I say three is a crowd. There was a boy thou that I fancied the pants off, he was smart, ambitious and broad! Unfortunately, we have become distance friends who don't speak, yet he pops up everywhere and I am super happy that my predictions about him are true.  
Dating is awkward, zilch experience talking about me and I hardly concentrate long enough to take an interest in the person. Since my 'almost made it relationship' ended I have had it bad with zero interest in men that approach, not because they don't fit enough, but because my heart is frail and I keep having too soothe, caress and encourage her to breathe again and trust that 'I love you' from the opposite sex is not always a lie designed to break us down in order to hurt and deceive us.
"Maybe things just happen to make them withdraw their love and it doesn't have anything to do with how awesome we are." Well it been months that I have been telling the old girl this and she is coming out, head above the water, learning to stroke the waves and plunge in.
I want someone who goes beyond the usual cinema and dinner thing. Give me an experience, ask me what I would like to do and be seriously genuine with what you say. I want vulnerability, emotions and admissions that reflects what you dream off when you are alone. I am an emotional person deep inside and connect better with people that can draw out energies that keeps me buzzing. I want to see you, know what makes you ache inside, your substance and feel comfortable around you to be cool with you. I love conversations via phone calls or text, whatever warms your sushi, because I am not dealing with the "have you eaten" type convo, we can talk about so much more that offers insight into our personalities. More importantly, introduce something new to me, it is all part of the experience in getting to know someone, we can both open each other to a thousand possibilities. One of my very good male friends, we bonded over books, the exhilarating moment when we discovered we loved the same author and read the same books. We sat and analyse almost every text we had read, exchanged books and we weren't even getting it on.
While it all sounds sweet, I am equally aware that I have to bring something to the table if we must intertwine and make good babies. Reverse!!!! I meant get to know each other, begin a relationship, commitment etc. However, the sole purpose of dating is to know someone and decide if you like them enough to put up with their flaws, imperfections and keep learning the depths of their character,  not marry them. I see it in this order- Dating - Committed Relationship - Sustainable Relationship - Marriage. Before you all get deep, if you got into a relationship and it isn't working or in alignment with your purpose, use the exit door, don't die and ruin your self esteem unless you will carry that damage into the next and the next and the next until reality massage your face with a lift. 
Some people on the other hand turn dating into a Change.Org mission, there is no need to quit your day job, please attend evening school, get qualified and make some money off that talent. WHY would you try and change someone in order to mould them into the perfect partner, sometimes it works, kudos to the ladies that achieved this alright. But we all know that 99.9% fail, you will only succeed in a few months/years of living the dream and it will become impossible to continue and kids get mixed up in the situation. You knew all along, you knew, he knew......but guess why he put up with it because you offered something he didn't deserve that he couldn't get elsewhere and eventually it wore off because someone smarter is going to give it to him in a different package. We readily give men choices and forget we are the price, undervaluing and scheming for the wrong attention.
Dating should be fun, be wild young and free with caution. Don't give your time away to just anyone, know what you are seeking and rest on the understanding that there is a great guy out there waiting for the chance to meet you, court you, love you and above all be the One that complete this area of your life.
A Promise to Remember - Beautiful Beloved Believed In

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